Letters From Missouri
by McPasstel
Summary: "Dear Aro, Marcus, and Caius. I write to you from a Walmart in Missouri, USA where I think you'll soon find yourselves frequenting. Enclosed is all the information my mate and I could gather. Whatever you do, don't screw this up. With Love, From Alice Cullen."
1. Chapter 1

Alice Cullen is smart enough to send a letter instead of coming in person. Though, Aro would have enjoyed another chance to read her mind; he so enjoyed her visions of the future.

However, as it stands, the Volturi kings receive a letter.

This message looks rather unremarkable at first glance as it's written on plain printer paper and sealed in a cheap envelope. Truly nothing that stands out. Despite it's lack of fanciful adornments, Aro opens the letter eagerly.

Alice Cullen probably should have come in person.


	2. Chapter 2

You wouldn't be able to tell by looking at Caius, but when he was human he was rather pathetic. He'd been as skinny as a rail with too-big ears and a stutter that made it virtually impossible to understand him at times. Becoming a vampire fixed all those things he'd seen as flaws. He'd grown muscles and filled out which thus made his ears seem much more proportional to the rest of him. And most importantly, his stutter went away.

The only ones who know what he was like before becoming a vampire are Marcus and Aro. (He thinks he might throw himself into the nearest fireplace should something like that ever become public knowledge.)

As he stands now, nervously fiddling with the random item he'd grabbed off the shelves, he suddenly has a terrible fear that his stutter will return to him.

He wants to back out of this desperately. Aro should be the one here; he was the most charming of the three of them. Hell, Marcus would have even been better than him despite his depressing and lackluster personality.

Demetri looks to his master in concern and asks rather stupidly, "Are you okay?"

It's very clear that Caius is far from okay. If he had functioning lungs he'd be hyperventilating right now. He can't exactly admit that to his subordinate so instead he snaps at the man angrily to go wait in the car if he's just going to stand around and ask inane questions.

Demetri makes sure that Caius is properly occupied when he rolls his eyes.

Standing just twenty feet away and boredly managing a register is Caius' objective for being here. He and his brothers had looked her up on social media and it's strange how even under the glare of florescent lights and wearing that hideous uniform, she's still just as pretty as her pictures would suggest.

Caius rather feels like he might need to throw up. Instead he swallows back the urge and moves forward to place his item on the register conveyer belt.

…

Things have calmed down since the entire Volturi fiasco ten years ago. The Cullen family is just as happy and thriving as ever and they've not had any other problems since.

Things were rather normal, actually. Alice might even say things have gotten boring. Edward has caught her thinking that few times now and whenever he does, he sends her these stern, disapproving looks that make her feel guilty.

To escape the mundane lives that they've been leading lately, Alice suggests a trip to Jasper. Always in the mood to visit Peter and Charolette, Jasper agrees. They pack up their car that night and are gone before the sun rises.

The travel to Texas is nothing to write home about. They don't need to sleep so they just drive, however, that is rather hard on a car. They're reminded of this when outside some tiny town in the middle of nowhere, they're car breaks down.

Thankfully, there is a Walmart in the distance.

Unluckily, Alice has a vision just as they're pulling into the parking lot.

Jasper, always tuned into her emotions, looks to her in surprise when he feels her utter shock at what she's just seen.

"Alice?" he asks warily while eyeing the neon glow of the Walmart sign above them.

She give him a long stare in return before saying, "I really need to send a letter."

…

Ann smooths down her shirt and tries standing as straight as possible, being sure to stick her boobs out like how her sister showed her. She deflates with a raspberry and glares at her lack of 'assets'.

Whatever.

Ann turns from the mirror sharply and goes to clock in for her shift.

No matter how hard she tries, she can't get that weird petite woman that came in all those weeks ago out of her head. The way she had looked at Ann had been so unsettling. Enough so, that she clocked out early and went home right after.

Her brothers had laughed at her when she'd told them the story and her mother just cooed at her and then sat her down and gave her a plate with far too much food. Really, a normal Wednesday evening all things considered.

"_You're gonna be incredible,"_ the petite woman had said to her so seriously, almost reverently while grabbing her hands over conveyer belt. The woman's husband looked quite embarrassed but also resigned, like this happened all the time. He apologized to her when they finished paying and had grabbed their bags.

Ann rubs her hands on her pants when the memory of the encounter resurfaces and she just tries to ignore it while quickly clocking in.

Ann catches her reflection in the salon window near her register and thinks about what the woman said.

_You're going to be incredible. _

…

"_Her name is Anna-Louise Fisher. She's beautiful and she's going to change your lives forever."_


	3. Chapter 3

Anna-Louise Fisher isn't anything too remarkable, she thinks. She's the second to youngest of five and she lives in a tiny town in Missouri. Really, nothing to write home about. And that's kind of how she lives her life.

She graduated high school— middle of her class— got a job at Walmart and has just been living life like that since.

Average, unremarkable, Ann Fisher.

That is until a strange run in with some pixie-like petite woman who insisted to her in the creepiest way possible that she would somehow be incredible. Ann didn't manage to get the hows or the whys or even the what the fucks of it all, but the single sentence left an impression anyways.

Now, Ann is starting to look at her life, at herself, and is wondering if maybe she _could_ be incredible someday. She doesn't know in what way but she'd like the chance to try at least.

It's with these cautious day-dreams that lead her to experience the second weirdest thing to happen to her this month.

…

Aro and Marcus are practically glued to their cellphones. It's only been an hour since Caius has left and Aro suddenly wonders if they've made a horrible mistake sending him.

Marcus, always adopting the personality of a Buddhist monk on Quaaludes, serenely asks Aro what is bothering him. Aro halts in his effort to wear a path in the marble of the throne room dais, and looks at his bond brother with a pinched face.

"I'm concerned that Caius was not the correct choice for this venture," Aro admits as gently as possible. Caius isn't in the room but the man seemingly has a sixth sense for when others are talking ill of him.

Marcus tilts his head in consideration, "I think that if Caius felt he was not up for the task, he would have told us so himself. Don't you think so, brother?"

Aro does have to admit that Caius is weirdly self aware of his shortcomings.

"I suppose you're right," Aro says while taking a heavy seat in his throne. He looks down at the cellphone clutched in his hand. Caius won't be at the place where Anna-Louise is located until tomorrow evening, but Aro is afraid he'll miss an update if he puts the device down.

"Have faith in our brother, Aro," Marcus commands just as kindly as always, "He will not fail us."

…

Ann stares at the enema kit and then looks up at the insanely handsome man purchasing it. It must be the time of night that erases her filter because her first words to this man are, "Plugged up?"

He looks at her uncomprehendingly then looks down at the enema kit in her hands. Ann can see the moment he realizes what he's purchasing and his face becomes a mask of horror. He looks to the equally beautiful, snickering man waiting in line behind him and Ann swears she can feel the temperature in the room drop.

Eager to get this guy moving so he can do whatever it is he needs to do she says, "Will that be cash, check, or credit?"

The man turns back to her and she honestly feels a little bad, he looks like he's internally begging for death. He bites out a crisp, "Cash."

The transaction is quiet after that. She thanks him and tells him to have a nice night. He nods and walks very quickly away from her.

The other guy tosses his set of undershirts onto the conveyer belt and gives her an appraising look. "He didn't need to buy anything but he saw you working and really wanted a chance to strike up a conversation," the man tells her while leaning casually against the register desk, "He grabbed the first thing he came across off the shelf."

Ann grimaces; how unfortunate. But also, she's not interested in the slightest in some weirdo coming into Walmart at 3 a.m. Ann tells this man as much while quickly finishing up the transaction.

He gets a strange look on his face that Ann can't quite place and leaves with a wave over his shoulder.

What the fuck?

…

Aro's phone vibrates in his pocket and he halts the trial. Felix is looking up at him with an incredulous look while he's got a nomad vampire pinned to the floor. Aro doesn't care and quickly takes out his phone to answer it.

Feeling it pertinent to get information, Aro skips the pleasantries, "Did you meet her?"

The line is silent for a several moments and then Caius bites out, "30 seconds and I've already made a fool of myself."

Aro, and Marcus listening in, both wince. Marcus plucks the phone out of Aro's hand and speaks into the receiver, "Brother, do not quit. You simply need to try again at a later date."

They're not on the same continent as Caius but through the phone they can practically hear the steam coming out of his years. Caius hangs up without another word and Aro sinks into his seat.

There was no way that this was going to end well.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hello," Caius says warmly, giving Ann his absolute most charming smile, "My name is Caius and I-."

"Cash, check or credit," Ann interrupts staring up at him with a bland expression. Caius admits he falters for a moment, not sure how to proceed.

"Er, cash. I wa-," once again, Ann cuts him off.

"That'll be $9.43 sir," she tells him and when Caius glances over his shoulder to look at Demetri, the other man is wearing a crestfallen expression that matches what Caius is feeling internally.

"Right," Caius says while fishing for his wallet. When he hands over his money, their fingers brush for just a moment and he savors it to be the only thing he thinks he'll ever get from her.

When she hands him his change, she doesn't even glance his way and crisply barks, "Next!"

Caius leaves with his proverbial tail between his legs. Demetri follows after and suggests, "She did tell me last time she does not appreciate being accosted at her place of work. Perhaps we simply need to stage a running into her outside of her job."

Caius considers that as he sinks dejectedly into the passenger seat of the car. He hopes the other man is right, because if she rejects him a third time he doesn't think he'll have it in him to continue on.

…

This guy is just so persistent, Ann thinks to herself as she clocks out for the night. That's the second time in two days he's tried to chat her up and one would think the enema incident would dissuade him from continuing. Apparently not, because he was in again tonight, this time buying a thermos.

Don't get her wrong, that smile was the sexiest thing she's ever seen in her entire life. If she'd been even a little bit less annoyed she probably would have jumped his bones right then and there.

Ann sighs and stops in the bathroom to look at her reflection. Not in a vain way, rather searching for what it was he might have been interested in. She just sees plain old Ann Fisher and that guy was sex on legs. It doesn't make any sense.

She huffs and turns to go home. If he tries that shit again while she's working, she's calling security on his ass.

…

If asked, Ann Fisher would tell you that she has no passions in life. She would say that her life is waking up, going to work, and coming home.

She'd be lying to you.

In reality, Ann does have a secret passion. For some reason she gets so darn embarrassed whenever it's brought up; she thinks it's because she struggles to accept compliments.

Ann likes to barrel race. She was a 4H girl just like every other kid she grew up with and her passion started there.

If asked, Ann Fisher would say she's just so-so at barrel racing; that it's mostly just a vague hobby. The trophies in her bedroom would tell you she's lying.

That's actually how Demetri cooks up his next plan to get Caius to interact with the future queen of the vampire race.

Caius looks up from his phone when Demetri slaps the printed out information about the upcoming rodeo down in front of him. Caius scowls and looks up at him, "What is this?"

"A rodeo," Demetri says simply, "Queen Anna-Louise will be competing there this Friday."

Caius immediately straightens up and snatches the papers up off the hotel room coffee table.

"You don't say?" Caius mumbles to himself while flipping through the information, "Well we must go then."

"Yes," Demetri agrees, then, he gives a grimace to Caius' Armani suit, "However, you will need to get different clothes."

…

Aro phone makes a small pinging noise that alerts him to a new message. Eagerly he grabs it off his desk and is opening the group chat between himself, Caius, and Marcus.

Caius doesn't include any message; rather, he simply just sends a video clip.

Aro watches intently as a woman riding a horse goes racing past to circle some barrels. The way she commands the horse is incredible and Aro finds himself watching and then rewatching several times.

At last, after several minutes, Caius includes a brief message.

_Our Anna-Louise likes to barrel race._

…

Ann is still feeling the flush of joy of racing when someone approaches her while she's riding her horse out of the arena.

Dressed in possibly the finest, and most ridiculous looking cowboy attire, is the enema man from Walmart. Ann lets out a surprised laugh at his appearance and, still feeling good from earlier, talks to him.

"Well aren't you just a vision," she comments while leaning her elbow on the horn of the saddle.

The man, Caius she thinks his name was, looks a little embarrassed but his face lights up rather adorably when she talks to him.

Ann decides then and there that she'll give him a single chance to woo her tonight.

…


	5. Chapter 5

"I think that our mate is meant to challenge us," Marcus says to Caius wisely, "We have seen many years, many wars, many hardships. We need someone who can ignite a passion within us. Someone who we will not run out of words to speak to. Someone who will challenge us to be the best versions of ourselves."

Caius eyes himself in the changing room mirror. These cowboy clothes don't suit him at all, he thinks. But, at the prospect of wearing something his mate likes, he is excited to be wearing them.

"She would not even glance my way," Caius admits to his eldest bond brother, "I admit, brother, that I contemplate the death I will seek if I can never gain her affections." *****

"Do not give up just yet, Caius," Marcus replies calmly, "I do believe that she is worth any struggles we may endure in attempting to court her."

Caius thinks of Ann's pretty green eyes and the adorable way her face pinches up in suspicion whenever she looks at him, and agrees.

…

Demetri can't help but feel concerned for the future of the vampire race. The entirety of both vampire and human peace was completely dependent on Caius being able to get this single human woman to talk to him.

They were all _doomed_.

As Demetri follows after his master despondently, he can't help but be jealous of those forced to stay behind and manage trials. Gods, what he wouldn't give to be spending his days bored to death there than watching this train wreck occur.

A man and woman exiting the beer garden stumble past him in a drunken haze and if anything he'll be able to distract himself with some easy meals from the impending apocalypse.

Demetri should've stayed with Amun in Egypt.

…

If Caius had a heartbeat it would be going all over the place. Ann smiles down at him with dimpled cheeks and a slight gap between her two front teeth. He's never seen someone as beautiful as her.

At the back of his mind, the fear his stutter will return re-ignites and he finds himself clamming up.

What should he say to the woman who was made by the Gods to be his and him hers?

At a loss and with nothing coming to mind, all Caius says is, "I like horses."

Somewhere off to the side and out of view, Caius can hear Demetri groan like he's just been stabbed and Caius very much wants the ground to open up and for Hades himself to drag him away.

The ground doesn't open up, Caius isn't yanked away from this situation, and instead there's an awkward silence that rings between them.

"Um, yeah," Ann finally says after several moments, "I like them too."

"Tell her about the horse you had during the King Arthur's reign," says Demetri, loud enough that Caius will hear but not loud enough that any human will notice.

"I once had a horse," Caius exclaims rather dumbly, "He was beautiful, dun colored thing with a black nose. He would bite anyone who tried to come near him except for me."

Ann examines him rather critically and then says, "He sounds wonderful. What was his name?"

Here, Caius barks out an embarrassed laugh and admits rather sheepishly, "I never gave him one. I just called him 'horse'."

Ann bursts into giggles at that and dismounts her mare, "Well based on the careful thought you've put into his name, I can tell he had a really special place in your heart."

This is said in a joking manner and Caius laughs along with her. They settle down and Ann fiddles with the reins of the horse before she says shyly, "I still have the competition going on but afterwards, do you want to get drinks with me?"

Caius could swear that world just stops in that moment because he doesn't hear or see anything except for her.

"Yes," he tells her seriously, "I would love that."

…

Ann slams the first place trophy down onto the wooden table Caius is standing at and triumphantly says, "I believe I deserve a drink for this victory."

Caius appraises the tacky, brass thing and agrees.

Demetri comes sliding up when Caius departs to get her promised drink. He holds his hand out to the woman and introduces himself, "I am Demetri, a friend of Caius'."

Ann shakes it, "Yes, I remember you. It's good to have a name to put to your face, I've just been calling you the Enema Enabler in my head this whole time."

Demetri does look a bit sheepish at that, "It was petty of me to let him do that but you have to know, I was getting revenge for something else."

Ann nods her head with a laugh and Caius chooses that moment to reappear with her drink.

Seeing the glare that the blonde vampire is sending him, Demetri decides to find interest in a half-drunk woman walking past in a short skirt, "I'm going to go see about that."

Ann accepts the beer bottle from Caius' hand and gives him a slow look up and down.

"You look like someone trying to cosplay a cowboy," she tells him honestly and he shrugs.

"I've never been to a rodeo before and I was informed my suit would not be a suitable clothing choice for the occasion."

Ann leans forward on the table, "So, Caius who's never been to a rodeo and who can't name horses, where is it you're from?"

Caius, who's finally relaxing into the flow of easy conversation, is more than happy to tell her about himself. He tells her of his Greek origins and his current Italian residency. He tells her of his brothers. He fudges the truth a bit, telling her they are judges in their community. He even tells her about his painting hobby and shows her photos he's taken of his work on his phone.

She's amazed by his talent and he can feel his chest swell in pride.

In return, Ann tells him of her four siblings; three of them older and one younger. She tells him anecdotes about the people surrounding them in the beer garden. ("I've gone to school with pretty much everyone here," she says with an annoyed scrunch of her face, "Small town living.")

There comes a point, after they've spent nearly three hours just standing and talking, that Ann has to leave.

She stares critically up at Caius for several moments, as if she's appraising him. Seemingly deciding on something, she reaches her hand across the table and grabs his phone.

"Don't be a weirdo," she tells him when she hands his phone back. She leaves without a glance back and Caius looks down at his phone.

She's added herself to his contacts and labeled herself as Better Horse Namer Than You.

He doesn't find out until much later that she's labeled him in her phone as Enema Man From Walmart.

…

***The more upset they get the older they speak. Right now Caius is at like a medium so he's not that far off from a 19th century novel. When he's at 100% he goes full ancient Greek.**


	6. Chapter 6

Frank Fisher is a mountain of a man.

He's the kind of man who has done time in prison and would gladly do it again if anyone were to mess with him or his family. He has this terrible scowl that makes him look like the meanest man on earth and he has arms so big his shirts can't have sleeves.

People wouldn't know this by looking at him, but Frank Fisher is a huge softy on the inside, especially when it comes to his children. Little Ann is the one he frets after most. She's a lot like him and doesn't like showing her feelings none too much. He worries about her making friends, finding a significant other, getting married. He wants her to have only the best in this life, better than he had or has provided her so far.

Ann doesn't seem to care about those things, preferring to stay private and keep to herself. So, you can imagine everyone's surprise, most especially Frank's, when she announces she has a date.

Her brothers— all turning into behemoths like Frank— go silent and stare in surprise. Frank smiles and thinks that if whoever this man is tries and hurts her, he'll have the Fisher boys to worry about.

Of course, Frank's wife begins gushing in delight at the news. "We'll have to get you a new dress!" she exclaims while looking at Ann's worn down jeans and t-shirt with a frown.

"We wanna meet this guy and talk!" Ann's brothers say while sharing conspiratory looks between themselves.

Frank just wonders where the time went.

…

For some reason, Ann — "It's Ann, not Anna-Louise, stop calling me that!" — won't let Caius come pick her up for their date, instead insisting on just meeting up somewhere.

The town she lives in has a very few dining options and so the only place they can really meet is the Applebees on 5th. That or Smokey's Bar on 7th but Ann insists that that place is a disgusting.

Once again, Demetri had determined Caius to be far too overdressed, and made him buy different clothes. Caius does not understand the appeal of these cheap, scratchy slacks but he also does not want to risk making Ann uncomfortable.

He desperately wishes he could fly her to Chicago on the private jet and show her a true dining experience, but Demetri insists that small steps must be taken.

Said man is currently in the booth behind Caius with sunglasses and a large newspaper as if it makes him inconspicuous. He's promised to help the date go smoothly and so Caius doesn't complain.

Ann arrives right on time. She's wearing some floral dress with thin straps and her strawberry blonde hair is down reaching to her waist. Even Demetri makes a pleased hum at her appearance.

Ann looks incredibly uncomfortable in the dress, however, tugging it at it nervously while the waiter leads her to where Caius is sitting. He'd like nothing more than to shove her dress up and bury his face between her golden thighs.

While she's taking her seat he wonders if she'll maintain that golden complexion after she's turned.

"What's with that look?" she asks him while narrowing her eyes suspiciously as she takes in his smitten expression.

"I apologize," Caius says as he tries to turn the charm up, "I've just never seen such a beautiful woman before."

Ann snorts at that, but her face does flush prettily at the compliment.

Ann decides to change the subject, "So, why are you here of all places?"

Caius and Demetri have already worked out a believable tale should this question arise, "My doctor suggested I take a holiday to destress. I've been informed I'm a workaholic."

Ann gives him a look that tells him she sees right through his lies, "So, your idea of destressing is the middle of fucking nowhere Missouri? Try again, cowboy."

Now, Caius is starting to feel nervous. This woman is certainly the best match for him because he's never met anyone brave enough to call him out on his shit other than Aro and Marcus.

"Play it smooth," Demetri murmurs low enough that only Caius can hear, "Say that it was your brothers' idea as a joke."

Caius leans forward on the table a bit, "I agree with you wholeheartedly. My brothers planned the trip for me and selected this place as a means to laugh at me."

Ann stares at him for a few moments as if still searching for a lie, then, she lets out a clipped laugh, "Yeah, brothers are dicks."

The conversation moves smoothly the remainder of the evening. He manages to hide his food in his napkin and Ann doesn't seem to notice.

As Caius is picking up the bill and Ann is sliding out of the booth to leave she looks at Caius with a bemused expression, "Also, be sure to tell Mr. Enema Enabler that he's not hiding well at all."

Demetri looks up from his newspaper with wide eyes but Ann is already walking away.

Caius sinks back down into the booth and let's out a slow breath. Demetri plops down where Ann had been sitting and tells him rather smugly, "I think she likes you."

Caius sure fucking hopes so.

...

Ann Fisher has a crush.

She's never had one for as long as she's been alive. Actually, that's a lie. She had a crush on Jesse McCartney when she was like 8 but that's just normal kid stuff.

This is a serious crush. The kind that leads to actual dating— perhaps even more if she were to feel so inclined.

Ann doesn't really know what to do with herself in the face of this newfound infatuation. She's a private, closed off, unemotional person and for this strange Italian guy having her all flustered is just not in the realm of what she knows. She admittedly has a brief contemplation of killing him so that she doesn't have to deal with these emotions but that's just not realistic.

So, instead, Ann approaches her older sister Sarah for advice. She looks like some overly pleased house cat and it half makes Ann want to run away and forget this ever happened.

"Well, what's this guy's name?" Her sister asks eagerly.

Ann bites out, "Caius," past her grinding teeth.

Sarah is wearing a smile so large and toothy that Ann wants to punch her in the face, "And, what is it you want from me?"

Ann's pride dies a gruesome death when she admits, "Help make me hot."

Ann knows she's never going to live this down.


	7. Chapter 7

Ann wants to take an acid bath.

Her mother and sister are absolutely gushing, "You look so cute!"

From the living room her younger brother pipes up, "Yeah, cute enough for the corner."

When Ann asked her sister to make her hot, she meant like refined sexy. Sarah took that and interpreted it as white trash. She's got this too-tight, long sleeved shirt that shows more cleavage than shirt. Well, it would if she wasn't so flat chested. Then her sister squeezed her into this tiny little black skirt that she's certain if she tries to walk in her ass will fall out of.

"I look cheap," Ann informs them flatly.

Sarah rolls her eyes, "You're such a Plain Jane. This is what men like."

Ann thinks about Caius and his ridiculously fancy suits and his old fashioned tendencies and disagrees. However, the headlights coming through the window as a car pulls up their drive informs her it's too late to change now.

She's going to just have to live with this horrible outfit.

"Whatever," Ann says as she grabs her bag and heads out the front door.

Caius is standing outside the car already, waiting for her. He's examining the front of her house and what he can see of the dry lot to the west. When he turns to look at her, his face takes on this expression like he's just been shot.

Ann's face takes on the color of the stupid red heals she's wearing.

"My sister picked it out," she grumbles while stomping her way towards the car. Caius collects himself and quickly rushes to open the door for her.

Ann knows that she has to kill all witnesses to erase this outfit from collective memory.

…

Caius grips the steering wheel of the rental hard enough to leave dents. Next to him sits his scantily clad mate who's resolutely refusing to look in his general direction. Probably to maintain her pride, possibly because she can sense his arousal.

He's taking her to some bar in the next town over that's having live music and dancing. Demetri is already there waiting for them but Caius wonders if they're going to make it. A large part of him wants to pull this car over and make love to her.

However, this is only their second official date. It's far too early in the courting process for Caius to make such an advancement.

Instead he tries to make conversation, "What sort of music will be performed tonight?"

Caius is confident in his dancing abilities however he does feel a bit hesitant when Ann says, "Country music."

"Ah," he replies warily.

Ann must sense his discomfort and smiles over at him, "I'll take lead when we dance."

If he could breathe, Caius would have let out a relieved sigh.

He thinks tonight is going to be interesting to say the least.

…

The bar is crowded when they arrive and also rather rural. Caius parks the car in the first available space he finds (which is off the road) and he escorts his beautiful mate into the establishment.

Demetri wades through the crowd as soon as he sees them and he's dragging along some half drunk woman.

Ann smirks at the sight and leans in to tell Caius that she went to high school with that girl. There's definitely a story there but Demetri makes it over to them before he can hear it.

"_Buona serata_, Caius, Miss Ann," Demetri greets jovially and the girl on his arm let's out an obnoxious giggle that has Ann biting her lip to hold in a snide remark.

Caius greets him in return and then has to field an awkward introduction and hug from the girl, Christie.

Eager to let Demetri continue his, whatever it was that he was planning on doing with this woman, Caius excuses himself and Ann with the plan for them to get drinks. Out of the corner of his eye, Caius sees Demetri get led towards the bathrooms by the woman. Ann sees it too because she makes a gagging noise.

"She used to date my brother," Ann says, finally explaining how she knows Christie. The bartender chooses that moment to get their orders. Caius of course will only pretend to drink. It's something he practiced quite a few times on his way to the United States so that his mate would not catch on that he was not human.

While Ann is ordering for them, he takes a look at the dance floor. The music is lively, as is the dancing. He wonders if his Ann would enjoy ballroom dancing.

Ann pulls him from his musings by tapping his arm with the side of an outstretched beer bottle. He takes it from her hand and Ann leans in to continue her story, "Anyways, at some point Christie cheated on my brother and then gave him the clap."

Caius grimaces at the tale; Demetri is lucky that he cannot contract anything as a vampire.

The night passes quickly. Ann only wants to dance for a few songs and Caius feels as though he's floating on cloud nine for every second he has her in his arms. She's much shorter than him, even in her heels, and the crowded dance floor means that she has to be pressed close to his body. She fits against him perfectly and he is once again in awe of this stunning being that the Gods have blessed him with. He wishes he could dance forever with her, but all too soon she leads him away from the dance floor back to the bar.

Demetri and Christie make a few appearances as well only to return to the bathrooms every time for another romp. Ann looks entirely too entertained by this.

By the end of the night, Caius is leading his tipsy mate back to the rental, keeping a steadying arm around her waist as they tromp through the gravel and grass. The ride to her house is silent — Ann turned off the radio as soon as Caius started the car — and he is wondering what he should say. Before he can come to a decision, Ann speaks up.

"Pull over," Caius starts a bit at his mate's words and does as asked. When he's safely on the shoulder of the dirt road he turns the car off and turns to look at her fully. The only light is the soft glow of the moon and that's it and his eyes take in her image hungrily. She's beautiful no matter what lighting, situation, and outfit— it doesn't matter.

She stares at him seriously for a long time; her eyes tracking over what she can see of his face carefully. It's only after several minutes that she speaks, "What do you want with me?"

Caius finds himself confused by the question and before he can open his mouth to ask her what she means, Ann beats him to it.

"I mean, you're some rich, Italian stranger who's literally the hottest person I've ever seen and you suddenly take interest in a girl who works at Walmart," she says, her eyes narrow and her teeth bared, "What do you want from me?"

Caius wonders if until this moment anyone has taken an interest in her. The way she's acting, so guarded and flighty, would suggest no. Caius thinks they're all fools for not seeing the goddess amongst them.

To humans, the concept of true mates is beyond their comprehension. He's heard many unmated vampires and humans either scoff or cower at the idea. To those who are unmated, it would seem that any choice in their lives has been striped from them. Caius too thought like that once upon a time.

As he sits now, facing this woman who calls to a deeper, more ancient part of him, he realizes he was wrong. He doesn't feel like any choice has been taken from him at all.

Even now, he doesn't know if there are any words in any language to describe what he feels when he looks at her. To those that haven't found their mates, that prospect does seem frightening.

As Ann is now she cannot feel what Caius feels; she does not know deep in her being that he is hers and she is his.

"I just want to spend time with you," he tells her while reaching out and grabbing her hand, "You do not have to like me in return. Just let me be in your presence, that's all I ask."

He releases her hand and places his own back into his lap. From here on out it's up to her to decide what she wants from him.

Ann's face is still drawn with harsh suspicion but there's a light in her eyes that warms at what he says. Without any prompting, Ann reaches across the console and grabs his face, tugging him into a kiss.

It's a small, simple one. A peck of the lips really, but Caius feels like his whole existence has led to this single moment.

When they separate, Ann searches his face, looking for something that Caius doesn't understand. She must find what she's looking for because her lips quirk up into a small smile and she pushes him back into his seat.

"Take me home, cowboy," Ann says with a tinge of breathlessness and a bit of teasing to her tone, "If you bring me back too late, my daddy's gonna shoot you dead."

Caius does as requested and it isn't until he's back in his hotel room that his phone lights up with an alert. It's a message from Ann.

'_You can pick what we do for the next date.' _


	8. Chapter 8

Sarah gets up from the couch with a curse. The toddler in her arms is wiggling and fussing but whoever is at the door isn't going away any time soon it seems.

"Hang on!," she snaps as she makes her way to the front door and whoever is knocking, "I'm coming, Jesus Christ!"

Sarah throws open the door and stares at the very handsome man standing on the other side. He raises his brow at the site of the tired mother and her screaming kid and asks, "Is Anna-Louise home?"

Sarah just grunts and turns her body back into the house to shout up the stairs to her sister.

The man looks uncomfortable but he holds his ground and continues to wait patiently on the porch. Sarah looks him up and down, "You that Caius guy Ann is seeing?"

He shakes his head, "No, I'm a friend of Caius'. I'm simply making a delivery."

Ann choses that moment to come stumbling down the stairs. Her hair is in a disarray and she's got an oversized t-shirt and gym shorts on. Not exactly a beauty queen, but Demetri thinks Caius would still swoon if he saw her.

Ann grumbles when she sees Demetri, "What are you doing here?"

He holds the box in his hands out to her, "This is for you. Caius will be here to pick you up at 4 p.m."

With that he promptly leaves, deciding that even a moment longer having to listen to that kid scream is too much.

Ann watches him leave before she makes her way back into the house, staring in confusion at the big box she's just been given. Her and Sarah go to the living room and start opening it up.

The inside contents are securely wrapped in tissue paper and there's a beautiful card placed neatly on top.

'Please wear this for our date tonight.'

\- Caius

Ann starts tearing into the package and is surprised by the contents. Inside is a beautiful blush pink dress that has Sarah gasping in awe.

"Oh my god!" She says while looking over Ann's shoulder, "You gotta marry this guy!"

Ann huffs and continues to go though the package. Caius apparently spared no expense as it's filled with all the necessities needed for a glamorous look. Everything from lingerie to makeup and even a pair of pretty silver heels. Ann kind of wants to just light the package on fire she's so flustered. She's never even gotten a flower from anyone before and this gift is too much she thinks.

How can she compete when all she has to her name is a few trophies and a job at Walmart?

Sarah looks uncharacteristically serious as she takes in Ann's troubled expression, "Quit it."

Ann's face pinches into one of confusion and Sarah continues to scold her, "You're doing that thing again! You're being all mean to yourself for no reason."

Ann purses her lips and runs her fingers over the delicate material of the dress, "What if he decides I'm not enough for him?"

Sarah scoffs, "Well, Dad's got a gun, that problem will solve itself."

Ann never went to prom or anything so it's a strange, exciting experience to put the dress on. She's never felt so pretty in her life and she can't stop spinning around in her room to make the dress flare out. Is this what other girls feel like she wonders?

True to Demetri's word, Caius arrives at exactly 4 p.m. Ann feels so nervous for some reason but the giddy feeling the dress has given her is still fluttering strong in her belly.

Caius is dressed in a pristine suit with a bow tie that matches Ann's dress. He smiles when he sees her and whispers into her ear that he's never seen a more beautiful woman. The way he says it makes Ann actually believe it.

He won't tell her where they're going, but he does ask her if she's ever visited Chicago before.

"No, why?" At the question Caius' face breaks out into a suspiciously pleased grin.

Surely they're not going to drive all the way to Chicago? Does Caius not know basic US geography? The man didn't even realize he was buying an enema kit, Ann muses, perhaps he doesn't.

Caius takes her to the local airstrip where some farmers keep their planes. Parked on the runway is a gorgeous private jet that Demetri is standing near with a smirk.

"No fucking way," Ann breathes out in disbelief as Caius helps her out of the car, "You own a fucking plane?"

Caius just shrugs and if Ann thought the outside was amazing, she sure as hell wasn't ready for the inside. Luxurious would be a too-simple word to describe the inside of this plane. Lush leather couches and mahogany coffee tables fill the space. There's even a fully stocked bar with crystal glassware off to the side.

She takes a seat close to a window and stares out as the plane prepares for takeoff. Caius takes a seat next to her and throws his arm over the back of the couch, letting his fingers dangle over and twirl her hair between them.

"I feel like I'm in a fairytale," she tells Caius with her cheeks red from excitement.

He chuckles and gives a chaste kiss to one of her rosy cheeks and looks out the window with her.

The trip to Chicago isn't too long, only a little over an hour and Ann eagerly has her face plastered to the window the entire time.

"I've never flown before," she defensively tells Caius when she catches him watching her with an amused expression. He just leans closer to her and points out various sites as they fly.

Unbeknownst to Ann (she's so distracted by the sites), Demetri decides to give his other masters a chance to see their mate. He films a quick video of her and Caius and sends it to them.

Demetri hasn't found his mate yet but seeing how utterly happy Ann makes Caius, makes him want to find his mate. Caius has always been cold and violent and angry. It's an incredibly strange experience for Demetri to see him so openly content and in love. Demetri wonders what it will be like for himself when he finds his mate.

…

Thousands of miles away in Volterra, Aro and Marcus simply can't stop watching and rewatching the video that Demetri sends them.

"Look at her," Aro sighs dreamily, "She's perfect."

"Yes," Marcus agrees, "Caius worried for no reason."

"Surely this means that she will be brought here soon, yes?" Aro asks, looking to his brother, "We need to meet her and bond with her as well, yet."

Marcus thinks it will not be that easy but he doesn't voice this out loud, instead he just hums and nods and hopes that their mate finds her way to them soon.

…

Chicago is the most incredible thing Ann has ever seen. The pilot takes them out over the lake before heading to the airport so that they can see the skyline. Caius is far more content to watch Ann than the skyline.

The night has been meticulously planned out down to the very minute (thanks to Demetri) and so as soon as they land, a sleek black Maserati is waiting for them. Demetri takes a second, much less conspicuous car to follow behind them in.

Ann spends the whole ride going back and forth from messing with the car's various features to staring up at the looming skyscrapers.

Several reservations have been made throughout the night. Their first stop is a rooftop bar high above the city that makes Ann let out a nervous laugh when she sees how high up they are. Next, Caius takes her out for dinner at the most extravagant restaurant in the city. Ann is drunk enough from the previous establishment that she shyly agrees to dance with Caius to the soft music of the quartet playing on the stage. He kisses her when the song finishes and pours all his feelings into it so that Ann is left near breathless by the end.

As the night begins winding down, Caius and Ann leave for the final place. Being rich has its perks and one of those is the ability to get access to the Art Institute after hours to tour the galleries.

Caius wishes the night could last forever and apparently so does Ann because she drags out their visit in the museum as long as possible. It's incredibly late by the time they leave and Caius decides to see if it is possible to make the night last longer.

"It's quite late," he states as they wait for the valet to bring them their car, "I would not be opposed to booking a room for the night if you are not keen on traveling."

Ann looks up at him and despite how dark it is, even with the street lights, she takes in his features. After what seems like forever and long enough that Caius is about to backpedal, Ann speaks up, "I would like that."

Caius about wonders if he's imagined her agreeing but he just nods and once the car arrives, he texts Demetri to tell him to find a hotel suite for the night.

Demetri nearly replies with suggestive emojis but decides he prefers his head attached to his shoulders.


	9. Chapter 9

Chicago has a completely different aura at night, Ann discovers. It's like some kind of electric beast awakens as the sun sets and it fills her with something akin to being drunk. She feels so brave and sure when she agrees to get a hotel room with Caius and she can't explain why.

There's a lot of things about the way that man makes her feel that she can't explain.

Caius interrupts her musings by reaching out and grabbing her hand into his while he drives. He idly strokes his thumb along the side of her hand and she feels herself relax into her seat.

Ann takes in his features while he drives and she's always surprised by how handsome he is. If her father ever meets him, she's sure he'll instantly criticize Caius' long hair but Ann thinks he makes it look refined, not unkempt. Caius could be a model for romance novel covers, Ann thinks while trying to hide her grin at the thought, that's how handsome he is.

Caius sees her smiling and looks over at her with one of his own, "Care to share your thoughts?"

Ann shakes her head and goes back to looking out the window while Caius expertly navigates the crowded streets of the Windy City.

"Thanks for bringing me here," Ann says shyly and she tries to avoid looking in Caius' direction, "I really enjoyed it."

Caius raises her hand to his lips and kisses the back of it, "You're most welcome, ἀγαπητή."

Ann's head snaps to look over at him and she sees his sly little quirk of his lips at getting her attention, "What does that mean?"

Caius just hums and pulls off the street. They've made it to the hotel, which apparently wasn't even that far from the Art Institute.

Ann huffs, "We could have walked."

Caius shrugs as he gets out of the car and hands the keys off to the valet. Ann already knows he prefers to open her door for her so she waits for him to come around and do so. She'd tried arguing with him about it on their last date but she learned quickly that he's a stubborn man when he wants to be.

Demetri is there already waiting with their card keys for their suite.

"I'll be one room over," he informs them, "If you should need anything, please do not hesitate to ask."

Ann figures that was for her benefit because Caius doesn't look like he's even paying attention. Instead he's more focused on leading her to the elevators.

Demetri doesn't join them in the elevator and instead stays behind and waits for the next one. Ann gives Caius a look for that, that he in turn appears confused by her annoyance.

"That was mean," Ann says, "-making him wait for the next one like that."

Caius rolls his eyes and pulls her into his side. He leans down and blows a raspberry on her neck that has her letting out a squeal and a laugh, her annoyance already forgotten.

The suite is the most extravagant place she's ever been. It's comprised of three rooms with a bedroom, sitting area, and a massive bathroom. Ann swears she could spend forever exploring the space. Caius has other ideas, apparently as he leads her straight to the bedroom. The bed is beautiful and plush but she suddenly feels nervous now faced with the prospect of what could potentially happen.

She'd felt so brave earlier but now she feels like she's in over her head.

Caius easily unties his bow tie, leaving it slung around his neck as he sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls her towards himself. He must see the hesitation on her face because he softly asks, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know if I'm ready to have sex with you," she tells him honestly.

He smiles kindly up at her and reaches up, resting his palm on her cheek. Ann leans into his touch and he says, "I don't mind. I'm just happy you want to spend the night with me."

Ann had expected some backlash, perhaps even some whining. Men in her life were always only ever thinking about one thing. However, Caius leaves her surprised with his easy acceptance. Was heaven missing an angel or something? How on earth is this perfect man in her life?

Ann grabs his face and crashes their lips together. Caius moves his hand to rest on her lower back, holding her securely against him. Ann finds her legs moving to straddle his lap as they continue to kiss.

The passionate kiss they'd shared at the restaurant earlier is nothing compared to this as Ann feels like she's burning up with the heat of desire. Their kiss breaks and Caius moves to placing cool, open mouthed kisses to her throat and collar bone. Ann tangles her fingers into Caius' hair as he makes a point of marking her neck for anyone to see.

Once he's satisfied with the surely large hickey where her neck meets her shoulder, he moves back to kissing her, coaxing her mouth open and for their tongues to touch.

Things get heated quickly as Anns fingers trail from Caius' shoulders to the buttons on his dress shirt. All too soon, he is divested of the fine fabric, leaving his chest exposed.

Ann pulls away from the kiss to look at his body, letting out a little sigh as she traces her fingers along the ridges of his muscles and perfect skin. He's watching her examine him and Ann must have an expression of desire on her face because Caius' own splits into a pleased grin.

Ann huffs at the realization she's just stroked this man's ego more than he probably needed.

She leans down and starts licking up his chest, bitting at one of his nipples playfully before laving his neck with kisses like he did to hers. He whispers into her ear in a language she can't understand but it spurs her on. Ann tries to push him back onto the mattress so that they can make this a horizontal party, but Caius resists.

He pushes her away gently and says, "We should stop."

Ann almost doesn't want to but does have to admit to herself that she doesn't think she's ready for this to go any further tonight.

"Okay," she tells him, standing up and moving away from him. She runs the back of her hand over her lips to collect the stray saliva from their make-out session. What now, she wonders.

They watch each other quietly for several moments before Ann is startled by a knocking at the door. Caius gets up, not bothering to put his shirt back on, and answers the door to the suite.

Demetri is on the other side and hands over a neatly wrapped parcel to Caius who just nods and closes the door.

"What's that?" Ann asks as she makes her way from the bedroom to the main sitting area.

"Clothing and toiletries," Caius says while setting the package on the coffee table and letting Ann open it, "I had Demetri go out and get some for you so that you would have something to sleep in and such."

That was really sweet of both of them to do that, Ann thinks and she makes a mental note to tell Demetri thank you later. With a man like Caius, she figures he probably doesn't get thanked ever.

Inside the package is both a set of pajamas for Caius and a pretty satin night gown for Ann. She runs her fingers over the soft material and wonders what it must be like to be able to afford this kind of luxury on the regular. Included in the package are toiletries, just like Caius said there would be and Ann takes her portion of them and goes off to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

She may spend a little longer than necessary ogling at the beautiful bath tub and vanity as she takes off her dress and changes into the night gown.

When she does finally exit the bathroom, Caius is already changed into his pajamas and he somehow makes them look incredibly posh. Ann wonders if it's some kind of super power of his or something.

Caius has already prepared the bed for sleeping, giving Ann basically all of the pillows and extra blankets on her side. It's a little awkward at first when they settle in to bed to sleep. Ann isn't sure what she's supposed to do and it seems like Caius is equally struggling. Eventually, Caius turns towards her and wraps his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. He runs his fingers through her hair to relax her and she does surprisingly quick.

Ann falls into probably the best sleep of her life.


	10. Chapter 10

The trial is interrupted by Aro's phone ringing. With an embarrassed sigh he takes it out of his pocket and looks at the screen.

"I apologize," he says offhandedly to the half dismembered vampire kneeling in front of the dais, "I don't recognize this number."

Aro answers the call, "_Pronto_, who is this?"

"_This is a collect call from Polk County jail, do you accept the charges?_" Is the automated reply that Aro receives. He and Marcus share alarmed looks with each other before Aro replies.

"I do."

It takes a moment for the call to connect but once it does, Aro hears, "Aro, it's me, don't hang up."

Aro sputters in disbelief, "Caius what is going on?"

It's quiet for a moment and Aro can imagine Caius is rubbing his forehead in irritation. Then, much to the complete shock and surprise of every vampire present, Caius mutters, "I've been arrested."

…

**72 HOURS EARLIER**

…

Ann wakes up to the tickling sensation of Caius tracing random patterns along her thigh. She gives a little stretch and turns her body to face him; Caius' arms wrap more fully around her and tug her close.

"Hey," she says shyly to him as he gazes at her with warm eyes. He leans in and initiates a long, passionate kiss.

When he pulls away he lets out a satisfied noise, "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

Ann did, actually that was the best rest she's ever had. Caius has an already massive ego so Ann doesn't feel like she should encourage it. Instead of the truth, Ann says, "Hmm, I suppose it was alright."

Caius must see through her lie because his smile widens and he starts kissing her again. They spend quite a while making out in bed and every time it starts to get a little too heated, Caius pulls back and lets them both cool off before starting up again.

It's both the worst and best torture that Ann's ever known.

Eventually, though, they have to get up and get ready to leave. Demetri has brought a change of clothes for both her and Caius and Ann feels incredibly grateful that she doesn't have to do some sort of walk of shame into her house wearing the fancy dress from last night.

That said, these clothes are once again not something she would normally wear or be able afford to buy. She gives Caius a look that he pretends he doesn't notice and goes off to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

The flight home is quiet with her and Caius cuddling up together on one of the leather couches on the plane. For some reason Caius had wanted all the shutters on the windows closed but Ann doesn't mind.

When they get back to Missouri, the day is cloudy and overcast just like the day before and it looks like it might actually rain.

Caius drives her home and he purposefully takes wrong turns and such to drag it out as long as possible. Ann doesn't want the date to end either.

Like a true gentleman, Caius walks her to her door and gives her one hell of a goodbye kiss that leaves Ann wanting to see him again as soon as possible.

So, she does.

She has her scheduled shifts at Walmart these next few days but she supposes on one of the days she can go out after she gets off work.

'_i get off at 8 on thurs we shud hang out :P_'

'_I would enjoy that. What will we be doing that evening? -C_'

Ann always cracks up at seeing Caius text. She can't help but think he texts like a grandpa.

'_its been raining so the lake shud b full we shud go swimming :) _'

…

Caius stares at the phone for a moment before he consults Demetri for advice.

"Ann would like to go swimming in the local lake," Caius tells his guard with a face of confusion, "-at night."

Demetri, who's just about had it with this whole mission and would like to get back to Italy at some point, takes Caius' phone—ignoring his huff of offense— and reads the conversation.

"Just go with the flow," Demetri tells him, "You're overthinking the whole thing."

Caius takes back his phone and looks down at it. He feels very out of touch with not only this technological era, but also his mate. She is so modern and he is increasingly becoming worried that they are not suited for each other because of it.

Taking Demetri's advice, he agrees to the date and tries not to think any more about it beyond that.

Ann, the thoughtful woman she is, even invites Demetri and whomever he'd like to bring with him to make it a double date. Demetri, it seems, is already ahead of Caius and has not only agreed to join them but has also invited that woman Christie that he had been with at the bar a few weeks ago.

"Queen Anna-Louise and I have been exchanging texts for some time now," Demetri explains offhandedly while he rapidly, and with far more practiced fingers, types out a message on his phone, "She's very funny."

Caius thinks Demetri should be demoted.

…

Ann is waiting for them outside the Walmart when they arrive to pick her up after her shift. She wastes no time hopping into the car and rattling off the directions. Christie and Demetri in the back seat are giggling to each other and Caius knows that if he looks in the rearview mirror he's going to see some things he'd rather not.

To further ignore whatever is happening in the back seat, Caius beings a conversation with Ann.

"I was not aware that night swimming was a popular activity here," he says, "However, I have prepared since our conversation last and purchased swimming shorts and other such amenities."

Ann snorts and grabs his right hand to hold in hers while he drives, "It's not—that's why we're going."

Christie from the back pipes up, "You're not going to need that swimming suit."

Demetri lets out an agreeing laugh and now suddenly Caius feels as though there is some sort of joke that he is not privy to.

Ann sees his troubled expression and kisses the top of his hand, "Just drive, cowboy, you'll be fine."

The lake is more of a pond and is located near the town's local park. There are no sandy beaches or any such thing to suggest that it is a popular swimming location but Caius doesn't argue as he puts the rental in park and turns off the ignition.

Everyone is out of the car quickly and before Caius really can understand what's going on, they're all stripping out of their clothes. He stands there, staring with a gaping mouth for several moments before Ann notices and takes pity on him.

She comes over to him, topless, and wraps her arms around his waist, "We're going skinny dipping."

Caius thinks he's might have heard of this term before but it doesn't matter if he has or not, because everyone's actions are telling him clearly what they're about to do.

Caius starts to strip out of his clothes as well and says, "I was not aware this was a nude beach."

Christie lets out an obnoxious laugh from where her and Demetri are already wading into the water.

Ann bites her lip to hold back her smile, "Think of it as one of Missouri's hidden treasures."

It is dark out and the only light is that of the moon but with vampire vision, Caius has no problem taking in the beauty that is Ann's nude figure. Gods, Caius wants to sculpt statues after her and paint murals so that the world may see her beauty.

He leans down and whispers in her ear while they make their way towards the bank of the pond, "You are captivating."

Ann flushes prettily at the compliment and tugs him into the water with her.

The water smells foul and there's this disgusting clingy algae everywhere. But no one seems to mind as they laugh and splash and swim.

Demetri fits in so well with these modern women, knowing exactly how to act and what to say. Caius is a bit humbled by it.

They spend quite a bit of time just swimming and chatting and when Caius is finally starting to feel at ease with the flow of conversation, they're all interrupted.

The shine of the flashlights in the police officers hands are bright enough to blind Caius momentarily. He had not even noticed their approach, so caught up with the activity, and apparently he was the only one who hadn't.

"Run, Caius!" Ann shouts with a laugh as her, Demetri, and Christie start swimming the opposite direction of the cops. Caius is thoroughly confused as to what is going on until it's too late. The cops are right there and Caius has no chance of getting away without revealing himself to be non-human, so he raises his hands and gets out of the water as commanded.

He has to admit, the handcuffs being placed on him and him being forced into the cruiser still wet and naked are what he's certain will be the death of any pride he once maintained.

Aro is never going to let him live this down.

…

The police officers are just as incompetent as Caius expected they'd be. He pretends to not understand English and sits there boredly staring at them as they try to interrogate him. It goes from that to them doing terribly acted charades to communicate with him.

The one phone call is the only thing that they would successfully communicate if he didn't actually speak English. He takes the phone with a huff and starts dialing.

He must have caught Aro during a trial because he sounds confused as he answers the phone.

"_Don_'_t hang up,_" he commands in Italian while eyeing the cops who are watching him, "_And don_'_t speak English, these buffoons are watching me._"

"_What is going on, Caius?_" Aro asks and Caius can only imagine that the whole courtroom is listening in eagerly.

"_I_'_ve been arrested_," he finally gets out past his grinding teeth, "_For public nudity_."

It's silent for a long moment as Aro, and no doubt the entire coven, processes this. Then it's an explosion and all at once Caius can hear Aro, Marcus, and even Felix demanding to know what the hell happened.

He hushes them with a growl and begins explaining. He's about half way through his tale when he sees Ann and Demetri come into the police station. Ann appears to know the officer who greets her and she's trying to get them to let Caius go.

"He thought that it was a nude beach," Ann pleads while rather successfully charming this officer, "C'mon Dan, you can't arrest the poor guy, he's not even from here."

"I don't know Ann," the officer, Dan, replies while rubbing his ear sheepishly, "public indecency is a pretty serious offense."

"I'll make sure he gets home safe and that this never happens again," Ann promises.

Demetri interjects as well, "He does not even know English, really it was our fault for misleading him."

Dan looks back at Caius who's watching with a bated breathe before he sighs and nods, "Yeah, just make sure he doesn't cause trouble again."

Ann lets out a joyous squeal and thanks the officer profusely while Demetri makes his way over to where Caius is. With little regard for his previous conversation, Caius simply hangs up the phone. The beginning of a question from Aro the last thing he hears of it.

"_We_'_ve successfully sprung you from prison_," Demetri exclaims in Italian with a grin, "_Let_'_s go before they change their minds_."

Caius doesn't need to be told twice, so he follows after the two of them quickly while trying to mentally erase this entire experience from his memory.

Ann, for her part, does look incredibly guilty that Caius got arrested and she hugs him tightly as soon as they're out in the parking lot.

"I'm so so so sorry," she murmurs into his chest, "I didn't think you would just sit there like a duck."

Caius rolls his eyes heavenward but knows that he's already long since forgiven her. Staying mad at Ann is impossible he finds.

"I would very much like to get some clothes on that are not these cheap prison garb." he tells her while kissing her cheek to let her know she's forgiven. Ann smiles up at him and leads him to the rental and, seemingly, towards the beginning of the rest of his life.

….

A/N: I love writing Caius in embarrassing situations it's the best. Stay tuned because the next chapter is going to be extra spicy~3

ps: Even though I don't reply to comments I just want you all to know that I read every single one and I love them and they keep me motivated to write so thank you!


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